Team Horizon: Sunset to Sunrise

In 1987, my first job out of school was in a pilot program in the Bronx. I was an in-home family crisis intervention counselor. We worked with families to keep kids in the home. Our referrals came from Child Protective Services (kids going to foster care), Family Court-PINS diversion (these were teenagers, Person in Need of Supervision, on their way to group homes) and juvenile probation (on their way to prison). We had no cell phones, no Blackberries, no email or texting, no computers- but we did have beepers. Families also had our home phone numbers and could call us 24-7. And they did.

One of the cases I remember vividly was a teenager who lived with his mother. He called me one night to say that he was going to kill his mother with a meat cleaver and then kill himself. As you can imagine, I was scared. I could only call my boss for help if I hung up the phone. And I did, telling the kid I would call him right back. My boss agreed to call 911 while I stayed on the phone with him. While I was on the phone with him, the police and EMS came and took him to the hospital. The next day, he called me and said his doctor from the hospital told him to call me. I asked if he was in the ER or a room. He said he was home. I asked him if he told the doctor everything he had told me the night before. He said no. (This is where to this day, my policy is always go to the hospital with people in this situation.) This went on again all day. He was still saying he was going to kill himself and his mother. This time, I went with a coworker to the home, calling 911 ahead of time and accompanying them to the apartment. The mother showed the police officer the cleaver, right in the dish drainer. This time, when they asked the teen what was going on, I was there to make sure he told the truth. When I was questioned by EMS and the police as to what happened, I began to cry.

Twenty four years later, I no longer cry during these situations, but they are still intense. I do not want anyone to be successful in an attempt- I don't even want it to get as far as an attempt. This is critical to me, my number one priority- to preserve life. To do so, I have gone as far as to have a person tracked via his cellular telephone where officers could find him, and they did. I have had conversations with people about their situations, and felt myself slither into dark places with them, realizing the depth of their despair. The difference is that I climbed out of that place easily and quickly, while the suffering person did not. And the work then, is to help that person see other options which they can pursue, to learn to get through the immeasurable anguish. It can be tough, however, I am committed within it.

A couple of years ago, a colleague who worked in Washington, DC killed herself. And she also had a mental health educational and work background, committed to helping people. Who would have ever thought

I am also ever mindful of the issue of suicide for law enforcement officers. Statistics show that the suicide rate in 2010 for police officers remained at 17/100,000, compared to the general population's rate of 11/100,000. Law enforcement officers must step in where no one else will go. The deeply disturbing situations in which officers become involved are sometimes the very cause of their demise. Officers need the support of their colleagues, families, friends, and the public, which they may not receive. It is an issue I wish people to become more aware of, overall.

During this last year or two, I have become stricken with grief hearing stories about kids who have killed themselves as a result of being bullied, especially cyber bullying. With one stroke of a key, a kid becomes embarrassed, a profound sense of shame, when not one or a few or even a class, but hundreds or more see something on the web about them. That could be any of our kids. Those kids see no way out and the parents are devastated beyond words.

About two months ago, on the radio, I heard about the walk, an 18-mile overnight walk in New York City on June 4, 2011 to raise awareness and to raise money for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. It got my attention immediately, resonating on a breathtaking level. I decided to do this, and will be privileged to have my son walk with me. My reasons are varied. I want to raise awareness so that people can think of the unthinkable because the possible outcome can be so tragic- for their kids and others in our community. I want an organization like AFSP to receive the support that it needs to continue its important work, to walk where others will not go. I want my son to meet people- parents, who love their children and who have lost them, so that he can truly understand the depth of that love. And, I want to be involved with suicide education and prevention in a different way, casting a larger net. I don't doubt for a second that this experience will be anything but absolutely transformational.

- Nella
Team Horizon