Michelle's Story

My mother was the most amazingly influential woman in my life.  Her influence created a path for me to become the woman I am today and whether in life, or in death, she means the world to me.  My mom was a strong and determined woman who fell victim to darkness, and what I have always called a "cancer of her soul." She suffered from Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder.  Our entire lives were infected by these mental illnesses and in 2004, my life was altered forever when my mother succumbed to the hollow depths of despair and took her own life.


There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her, miss her, love her, or desperately wish she were still in my life.  And, there are still moments where I feel anger, loss, sadness and disbelief, but each day is one more step I take in triumphing over this tragedy.  My mother's life taught me determination.  She gave me guts and showed me strength.  She showed me how to be an independent woman who could succeed at anything.  When I think
about her, I choose to keep my focus on what she gave me in life, not the pain that her death brought me.  After her death I traveled the world, conquered fears and goals I never believed I could, began running half marathons, and kept my focus onward and upward.  I carry her with me in every accomplishment, and will will do so again when I embark on the 18 mile
Overnight journey through the streets of New York, where she was born, in June of 1956.  I will walk because I carry her strength and determination inside me. I will walk to show others that we can triumph over tragedy.  I will walk to erase the moments of shame or embarrassment I once felt in telling anyone my mother suicided.  I will walk in defiance of keeping mental illness a secret.  I will walk to squash the stigma of suicide and mental illness and of asking for help.  I will walk to celebrate the life of the most amazing woman I know, and to show the world that my love for her knows no limits, knows no shame and extends to all those who have lost loved ones.  I will walk because, hopefully, I can help another survivor see the light of day coming on the horizon. I will walk to honor my mother, Theresa Parrella.


- Michelle Parrella